husband is an aspiring perfectionist; you just have to look at how he arranges
the donuts to see that. He played violin
for years as a child and young adult, ultimately playing in a youth symphony. His Great Grandfather helped to balance (or
corrupt) his classical training, by sharing his knowledge as a self taught,
down home, Irish Fiddler. Great Grandfather
has been gone a long time now and Jason hasn’t played a great deal over the
last few years, only tuning up now and then for the children’s entertainment. So when he was invited to join the excellent
NewChurch band to play this song, there were some mixed emotions.
story in this song is from the perspective of a new Follower of Christ. He’s realized that he’s been trying to fill
the void in his soul with worldly things and that just hasn’t worked. He’s trusting in the understanding that
through God’s grace his previous choices have been forgiven. What he’s questioning, however, is whether
the people, the Church, will also extend that same Grace.
lines that particularly resonate with me come part way through the song:
It seems as if all my
bridges have been burned,
You say that’s exactly how this grace thing works
It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive with the re-start
very clearly feeling that same anxiety, when in my mid 20’s, I re-started my
life as a Follower. I was a single
parent and felt that all my bridges had been burned, and quite rightly
so. I came to understand that a lot of
my relationships had been unhealthy.
That I was not a ‘safe’ person and I needed to let God do lot of work on
me (and that work still continues). But
I was fortunate that I was gently mentored and loved by a lady who had known me
since I was a child. Through this woman,
I experienced what we are called to do as a Church. Number 5 on Pastor Lee’s list - The culture is one of forgiven sinners, not
self-righteous religious Pharisees. She
is a strong and faithful Follower and during the previous few years when I had turned
my back on God, she had continued to love me, regardless. I had never felt any condemnation from my
friend, but I was filled with shame that someone like her could continue to
love a very unlovable me. She always saw
me as forgiven and celebrated with me when I was able to accept this gift too. Her welcome at my re-start was unconditional.
The last three lines of the
song speak defiantly. I live in this world but chose, at that turbulent time in
my life, to reject those worldly things that threatened to take my soul. I reclaimed and re-started my authentic self
as a Follower of Christ.
But you, you’ve gone too
far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine
as I listen to my perfectionist husband re-start his life as a musician, I see
so many parallels with my path as a Follower.
It isn’t always harmonious and sometimes, there are a few bum notes.
Purchase Roll Away Your Stone