This past week has been a rough one. My 5-year-old, Elijah, came down with the flu
(“Influenza B Virus” to be exact), and our doctor sent us home with meds, and a
note that said he could not return to school for the rest of the week. During the days that followed, I learned two
important things:
1)
Influenza B Virus is only known to effect humans
and seals, although, to my knowledge, it has not yet been named The Seal
Flu. Not sure why; it sounds like a
catchy title to me. Plus, seals are
super cute, as opposed to pigs, who DO happen to have a virus named after them.
2)
Elijah has no earthly idea how to play nicely by
himself without my 1st grader Andrew (who managed to escape the Seal
Flu, and happily went to school by himself each day), and is exceptionally good
at raising hell when left to his own devices.
Elijah was feeling almost 100% within about a day, thanks to
a combination of about 3 different medications, so he was soon bored and
restless, picking fights with the 3-year-old,
playing “keep-away” with the 2-year-old, and completely throwing the
normal, gentle rhythms of our day into an upset. In the loooong hours of each school day that
followed, I found my patience sorely tested, my creativity lacking, and overall
felt like a complete failure at being a Nurturing Mommy, or even a Nice Person
in general.
As I practiced the song “You’ve Got The Love” for this
week’s Quest, I started really focusing on the words:
Sometimes it seems the
going is just too rough
And things go wrong no
matter what I do
No and then it seems
like life is just too rough
But you’ve got the
love I need to see me through
As I continued to sing it and memorize the lyrics, I felt
that the author of the song was speaking directly to me, to my situation right
now. The words are simple, but the
message is clear and true: no matter how I am feeling, no matter if I have made
a complete waste of what could have been a nourishing time, even if I have not
cherished my children as I could have this week, if I have chosen a bad attitude and despair over contentment and peace – I can accept
God’s love for me, and His love can give me the strength to carry on. This experience can either be a regret and a
black mark of failure, or it can be something to learn and grow from. The choice is up to me.
Faith Darling
Buy You've Got The Love by Florence + The Machines